


doctrine of fundamentally good / you can be good

by oceanterminal



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, IT'S GAY, It's Soft, a healing fic of sorts, it's fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-01-29 22:48:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12640869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanterminal/pseuds/oceanterminal
Summary: Sayori suggests an exchange - Natsuki reads one of Yuri’s novels, and Yuri one of Natsuki’s manga. Things are softer than you’d expect.





	1. 1 - natsuki

**Author's Note:**

> woweee i said i’d write it!!! i hope i’ll write more to this one day. gonna write their bookshop date eventually, and i have more planned after that…but for now, have this.

It’s Sayori who proposes the exchange at first – Natsuki’s used to trading quips and barbs with Yuri; finds comfort in it even, but apparently it makes everyone else nervous (Yuri can give as good as she got, Natsuki insists, but Sayori seems to think Yuri a fair bit frailer than she really is).

“You need to understand each other more! Then maybe you’ll stop fighting all the time!” she declares, to the both of them. It’s a stupid idea, really. There’s no way in hell Natsuki will make her way through one of Yuri’s doorstops, and like hell Yuri will ever pick up manga. Well, not that the idea is unpleasant – there are a fair few manga who make an effort to be technical and difficult to read, but Natsuki has no experience there, and she doubts Yuri has to will to look.

You can’t read Yuri’s emotions from her face, but her eyes – wavering, always wavering – tell a louder truth than any expression she pulls (which is usually some degree of nervousness, bless her soul). Which is why Natsuki knows, as soon as the words tumble out of Sayori’s mouth, that Yuri is about as pleased as she is (read: not in the slightest). There’s a reason they fight – because they have their own niches, and they happen to be contrary. If Yuri wants to read words that give Natsuki period cramps, then she can do as she pleased.

Which was why it knocks the air out of Natsuki’s lungs when Yuri closes her eyes, nods once, and mumbles, “Well, I wouldn’t be opposed…”.

She should have seen it coming, honestly. It’s not like Yuri’s ever had any backbone to speak of (unless Natsuki dared to insult her 2edgy4me string of words you’d only ever find if you read a thesaurus back-to-back, but okay).

“You’re kidding me, right?” Natsuki blurts out – Yuri jolts. Natsuki makes a mental note to lower her voice. “You’d actually read manga…?”

Yuri threads her hair between her fingers, frowns and focuses on something that’s not really there. The displeasure is gone from her eyes, replaced by genuine worry now. Wonderful.

“Um…I mean…sure…” Yuri eventually forces out, wilting under Sayori’s aura of optimism. Because yes, reading something you hate will definitely bring you closer together. Of course. Natsuki grits her teeth and resists the urge to rub her temples. If Yuri’s into it, she has to comply.

“Alright then, if you want to…” Natsuki says, with a lot less of her normal venom and a lot more uncertainty than she’d wanted to betray – Yuri won’t miss it, but Sayori will.

“Great!” Sayori squeals with delight, and Natsuki can’t help the warm feeling in her chest. Yuri’s threading intensifies – she’s excited. Everyone’s excited. It’s infectious, damn it. “Tonight, pick out something from home that you think the other will like, and tomorrow you can share!”

At home, Natsuki rifles through her shelves in search of a something, an anything that might appeal to Yuri. Which isn’t easy, considering her shelves are full of cute-girls-doing-cute-things and other slice of life fare. She ponders on romance for a while, flipping through page after page of probably-a-little-too-dumb shoujo heroines and their bad boy love interests. Even if the male love interests are a little edgy, it’s still probably not…anything that would appeal to Yuri. Natsuki huffs, and lies down and her bed. All she has is cute things, lighthearted things – the exact opposite of what Yuri likes (she’d know, more than anyone, considering just how suddenly passionate Yuri got about literature whenever Natsuki opened her mouth).

“There’s nothing…” she mumbles, before rolling off to sift through the stuff in a pile beside her bed – the rejects, but maybe something Yuri would like? There had been a lot of magical girl works suddenly turning dark – nothing Natsuki was particularly interested in, but – ah!

Natsuki dusts off the cover, and flicks through. It’s a magical girl story, but it’s _perfect_.

The next club meeting is – nervewracking. Natsuki’s there early, too early, and paces the length of the room until the others show up. Yuri is late, slipping in with a quiet apology and hunched shoulders. Sayori looks on with eager eyes, but has a book of her own to keep her occupied. She won’t interfere, unless Natsuki and Yuri come to blows again (uncomfortably likely), which means they’re on their own. And it’s not like Yuri will be the first one to approach, which leaves Natsuki.

She takes a deep breath. _Here we go._

“Well, I suppose we should exchange our stuff now…” she says, and it comes out a lot less confident than it really should – Natsuki doesn’t like betraying anything more than is really necessary but god help her, she’s nervous. She’s pretty good at keeping those thoughts back but what if Yuri laughs at her for not being able to read it properly? What if she stopped thinking about stupid things like that and just handed over the damn manga? Natsuki puts a stop to her stupid stupid thoughts, and tries to let herself relax. It’s comforting that Yuri doesn’t look much better.

Yuri just nods, smiles a little as she pulls out a book that thankfully doesn’t look too thick and offers out to her. Natsuki takes the book, weighs it in her hands. The cover is plain; a picture of a girl on the front with little to no emotion.

“I tried to pick out something light-hearted,” Yuri mumbles, threading her hair between her fingers ahead. “I know you like cute things…”

“Thanks,” Natsuki mumbles, face reddening. Ugh, why did this have to be so embarrassing? She pulls the manga out of her bag and thrusts it forwards. “I tried to find something you’d like, too. It starts off light-hearted, but keep going. Something happens…”

She tries not to give the twist away too much; but she doesn’t want Yuri to stop reading before it gets to the good part.

“Puella Magi Madoka Magica,” Yuri says, reading the cover and dragging her eyes over the far-too-cute girls on the cover. “I like the cat thing. She looks very cute.”

Natsuki has to stop herself from laughing; instead she puts on a straight face and nods.

“So, uh…let’s get started?” she says, hesitantly. Yuri settles down with her back against the wall; her usual spot. Natsuki takes a chair at the closest desk, sits down, and opens the book.

The title is pretty; she can’t quite figure out how to pronounce the surname of the author but that doesn’t really matter, she supposes. She flips to the first page – and winces. Words, and words, and words. Words she does know. Words she doesn’t know. Words she thinks she recognises but doesn’t quite remember.

Natsuki grimaces. Yuri’s been considerate, but not considerate enough apparently. It takes her minutes to get through the first page, she hasn’t even finish the chapter by the time Yuri’s stood up and god, she’s finished already?

“I love it,” Yuri says, and her eyes are shining a little bit like when she talks about her favourite book, and Natsuki felts her chest thump a little because thank god, she knew it, she knew it – “I need more. Did you bring the next book?”

Natsuki shakes her head.

“I only own the first copy. I can show you where the next ones are though, if you want to come to the bookstore with me sometime,” she says, not realising she’s inviting Yuri to hang out until the words have left her mouth and Yuri is nodding gleefully like she’d rather do nothing else. Natsuki puts a hand to her chest. Fast beating heart. Cool.

“So..what did you think?” Yuri says, her voice still painfully soft but full of anticipation. She glances down at the book in Natsuki’s hands – winces when she realises she’s only at page seven, droops even further, “Did you…not like it? You didn’t read very much…”

Yuri has a tendency to look like a kicked puppy when she’s nervous, and Natsuki hates feeling like she needs to look after her, but – damn it.

“No,” Natsuki says, twisting her mouth, “no, it’s not that, it’s – I’m just a really slow reader.”

Yuri doesn’t look convinced, but tries to drop the kicked puppy look, and it almost works, but Natsuki knows she’s still hurt because her eyes are still a little sad. Damn it. Damn it.

“I’m dyslexic, okay?” Yuri pauses, blinks. Natsuki feels her face redden, but she has to keep going. “I can’t read very fast because I’m dyslexic. Books are hard because they have a lot of words and it’s a lot for me to process, and…manga is easier because there’s only a few words, and there’s pictures to break it up.”

Yuri’s mouth forms a tiny ‘o’, and her demeanour changes; gone is the hurt, replaced with guilt and concern and a lot of emotions Natsuki isn’t really in the mood to deal with.

“I didn’t know,” Yuri says, softly. She stops fiddling with her hair – it’s a rare moment of calm, when Natsuki knows Yuri is really listening to every word she says, patient and quiet. It’s nice.

“I try not to tell people,” Natsuki shrugs, looking away, “I can deal with it on my own, and teachers get weird if I mention, so I just don’t.”

Yuri looks at a loss for words, thinking and thinking over things in that big head of hers, so Natsuki tries to get things back on track.

“I liked what I did manage to read, though. It seems like an interesting world,” she says, and Yuri perks up like nothing else – Natsuki feels her heart soar a little more, cracks a little smile even though things are awkward. Yuri tilts her head, thinks of something.

“Would it help if I read it aloud? Would you be,” Yuri pauses, anxiety getting the best of her. Natsuki nudge her lightly to try and encourage her, “okay with that?”

Natsuki shrugs, nods. It’s not ideal, but – it would help.

“I use audiobooks at home for Lit class,” she says, “so, yeah. It would help.”

Yuri hesitates, heads over to her usual spot with the book in hand and pats the space beside her. Natsuki swallows. _Whew…_

Natsuki gingerly takes a seat beside Yuri – face flushes as Yuri wiggles closer, places the book on her lap but close enough so that Natsuki can see, shoulders touching, hips side to side…

Yuri’s patient; she waits until Natsuki’s stopped moving before she starts reading. Her voice is smooth, melodic almost, pleasant to listen to. It’s a lot easier to match the words in Yuri’s voice to the ones on the page, as opposed to trying to read them on her own – all her mistakes in the first few pages hurt a little at first but soon she doesn’t care anymore, just wants to listen to Yuri read and read and read…

Natsuki leans her head on Yuri’s shoulder, takes a moment to close her eyes because everything is so vivid, and Yuri reads so well, so articulately that Natsuki can almost paint a picture of every scene in her mind. The story isn’t quite to her taste, but she doesn’t mind.

Natsuki feels a sigh escape when Yuri closes the book, because club is over, they have to go home, lest the school kick them out, but –

“What did you think?” Yuri repeat the question from earlier, softly.

“I liked it,” Natsuki says, and she doesn’t have to lie, “it’s not something I’d normally read, but I liked it. We should, um, continue this next week, if you want…”

The expression of glee on Yuri’s face strikes Natsuki’s heart with stars.

“I’d love to!”


	2. 2 - yuri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the bookstore date. yuri's perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha, it's been a while, hasn't it...but i did promise i would get around to this eventually, and so i did!  
> it's about 7:30am and i haven't slept, but i hope you guys enjoy the update!!

It’s raining when the two of them leave school; dull drizzle and grey mist that cloaks everything around them in a distant haze. It makes sense, as such, that the centre of colour, beneath their umbrellas, is Natsuki’s bright, unforgiving pink. There’s a sharpness to the girl in the way she moves, breaths, looks and speaks.

Or perhaps it’s the exposed canine when she smiles, that sets murmurs in Yuri’s heart so.

Natsuki feels much like a predator, claws anticipating the moment they can unsheathe, posture poised to leap, eyes bright and wild and fervent. It’s only natural that Yuri would feel unsettled in her presence. She is, after all, the prey animal, between the two.

It had come up in a silly conversation at the literature club – words tossed back and forth between Sayori and Natsuki about this and that. Monika had arrived a little later than normal; Yuri had expected relief from their constant chatter but instead their president encouraged it.

“What type of animal would you be?” came the question, eventually. Yuri had her own thoughts about that, of course. Sayori was much like a golden retriever, bright and willing to please and somehow intelligent despite scatter-brainedness. Monika was a gibbon, tall and long-limbed and wise and yet mischievous And Natsuki? Natsuki was a tasmanian devil.

She’d read about them in a book, once – the strange little marsupials inhabiting an island off the coast of Australia who were tenacious, aggressive, and had one of the strongest bite-to-body mass ratio of any extant land mammal.

So truly, the animal fit Natsuki to a tee.

However, Yuri could not bring herself to speak up, and say these things – the thought of any of them taking offense at her personal choices was terrifying. Who would truly want to be a dog? An ape? A marsupial?

“Well, I think Yuri would be a rabbit,” Natsuki had said, casting her a glance, drawing Yuri into the conversation with a mere sentence when she herself couldn’t do it in a myriad of thoughts.

“Is that so…” Yuri mumbled, able to toss a weak response into the mix, but still, tongue-tied and word-strapped for more.

“There’s nothing else it could be! Yuri is definitely a cute little bunny,” Sayori acquiesced.

It had crossed Yuri’s mind, very briefly, that Natsuki preferred cute things. The thought passed just like that, and she dared not think anything more of it.

Yuri blinks uncomfortably as she’s dragged back to reality by the shattering of a raindrop on her cheek. Gone is the colour of their clubroom, replaced by the drab and dread of a lifeless afternoon, mid-shower.

There’s almost no-one else about – many students drive, or are picked up by their parents, or hurried off long ago. They’d taken their time to leave, and so the world felt emptier than normal. It’s queer feeling, as if the world has stopped for just the two of them, or worse – if the world has ended, and the bubble around them, the space beneath their umbrellas, is all that remains.

“This weather is kinda shit, isn’t it?” Natsuki says, cutting through the downpour and colouring Yuri’s view pink. “Typical that it happens on the day we decide to walk into town.”

There’s a hammering in Yuri’s heartbeat, the regular flutter that always comes with speaking and being spoken to, and a little further this time.

“It’s unfortunate that a sudden downpour came about,” she says, wincing at just how wispy her voice sounds. It’s a completely different kind of tone to Natsuki’s – clouded, misty and wiltingly weak in comparison to knife-sharp, bold and brash and loud and proud.

“No kidding,” Natsuki grumbles, kicking at the ground as they walk. Yuri worries, for just a moment, that she might slip, but the thought is wasted, as Natsuki is quite fine, and truly, there was no need for her to worry at all in the first place. “The world doesn’t want you to finish Madoka.”

Natsuki glances back at Yuri, reading her expression, before continuing, “Buuut, I do, so screw the weather.”

The fact that she’s looking right at her, eyes burning into hers sets Yuri’s chest alight, caving in on itself with a something indescribable. Instead, Yuri focuses on the scenery – or rather, the lack of it. Their conversation dies off, and then there is only the sound of the raindrops falling from their umbrellas, splattering onto the pavement, and their footsteps. It doesn’t bother Yuri, though, and if Natsuki is upset by the silence, she does not let on that that is so. They’re not far from the book store now, though, and it doesn’t take much deliberate absentmindedness to pass the minutes until they arrive.

“Jeez,” Natsuki sighs, ever-pouting in expression, “I could have done without a downpour, but hey, we’re here!”

There’s a chipper tune to her voice that betrays her words, and with a glance Yuri can see there’s a glint in her eye that speaks of childish glee. There’s an honesty to Natsuki that Yuri envies, in a way – there is no hiding behind walls of text and purple prose in order to justify, to find a line of logic that permits her to enjoy what she enjoys. It’s all very simple with her.

How fitting, Yuri muses.

The bookstore is not one she frequents – her tastes lead her further and further into smaller, independent stores. It’s more likely to find something a tad more obscure, a tad more to her tastes. Which is not to say she can’t find something here, of course. It’ll just take a little more sifting through the trash to find the diamond in the rough.

Natsuki takes Yuri’s hand and leads her to the manga section, a small corner at the back of the store. It’s somehow less conspicuous and yet more overwhelming that she had expected it to be – a thousand tiny books crammed together, with little to no real indication the section was sorted in any meaningful kind of manner.

“Uhm, it should be over here…” Natsuki crouches down, searching the lower shelves, presumably for the next edition of _Puella Magi Madoka Magica._ The first book had been enchantingly gothic, and somewhat eerie in art style, until the story took a turn for the darker near the end. It was truly enchanting.

Whilst she waits, Yuri peers at the other titles on the shelves, and almost jumps when she sees the cover proudly displaying a girl in a terrifyingly vulnerable position, scantily clad and – oh.

Natsuki, sharp as always, looks up at her with concern.

“Is something wrong, Yuri?”

“Uhm…” Yuri struggles to voice the…apparent horror of what she’s seeing, “Is…is all manga like this? Do you…”

Natsuki squints at the title Yuri is pointing to and shakes her head with shock.

“No, no way!” she says, putting her hands on her hands, “Manga is a medium of its own. It’s got all kinds of things, like horror, fantasy, action, drama, romance…and that. And no, I would _not_ read something like that. It’s called _ecchi_ , and it tends to be pretty gross. But if you avoid it, like I do, you’re fine. Madoka isn’t _ecchi_ , don’t worry.”

She crouches down again, resuming her search, and Yuri is left to wonder what exactly it means. Etchy…? She’d have to look it up later.

Another “etchy” title piques Yuri’s attention, although this time it’s less that the girl is scantily clad, and more that she’s posed with another girl in a rather…

“Here! Got it,” Natsuki suddenly says, standing up, and Yuri jumps roughly ten feet, “Ah. Sorry, I didn’t mean to spook you.”

“It’s all right,” Yuri mumbles, cheeks red. She doesn’t dare look back at the ecchi section, lest she be tempted to pick up that…interesting title. After all, Natsuki said etchy was “pretty gross”. Yuri isn’t quite sure what she means, but Natsuki seems to have a fair enough of her taste to be able to recommend something, so she decides to take it at face value.

“I have the second book, and the third, which finishes off the story.” Natsuki continues, holding the covers out. The second has Sayaka on it, who Yuri recognise, and another red-haired girl, whilst Madoka and the weird black-haired girl are on the third. Yuri wonders if that means red and blue die. It doesn’t seem like the sort of series to hold back, so…

She takes the books from Natsuki, offering a small smile in thanks. Truthfully, she wants to tear into them right her in the bookstore, but that would be – rude.

“Did you want to look for anything else?” Natsuki asks, but Yuri shakes her head. She only has enough for the books in her hands, and looking for anything else risked temptation of overspending. No, she had to be responsible about this, as much as she wanted to get more books. She still had five or so at home, anyway.

“What about you?” Yuri asks softly, but Natsuki just grins and waves a manga Yuri didn’t realise she was holding.

“The new edition of Parfait Girls came out.” She says, starting to walk in the direction of the counter. Yuri follows her, matching step for step.

“Parfait Girls?”

“It’s my favourite shoujo manga at the moment!” Natsuki declares, fang visible.

“Shoujo?” Natsuki’s world is truly, truly baffling. Not that Yuri minds.

“Oh, uh, shoujo is like – manga for girls? It tends to have really pretty art, and there’s a lot of romance, and, uh…”

They reach the counter before Natsuki can finish the thought. Yuri still doesn’t have a good picture of what showjo really is, but she can always look it up later, anyway. Natsuki pays in the blink of eye, and Yuri tries not to grimace as she realises what’s to come.

(Person-to-person interaction is just so hard. Especially when it’s with someone you don’t trust.)

Yuri merely blinks and nods and smiles until the process is over, but the anxiety in her chest keeps chipping at her heart until it’s beating a mile a minute. Her hand is shaky as she hands paper and coin over, shakier when she takes her change. She can’t even bring herself to murmur a thank you.

Then it’s over, but her heart is still pounding.

She tries to calm down by thinking of the things she has ahead of her – she has the whole story of Puella Magi Madoka Magica to enjoy as soon as she gets home, and of course, she can continue Portrait of Markov when she’s finished with _that_. Which are a lot of good things to look forwards to. Which means her heart can stop beating so fast now, and her breathing can go back to normal again.

Please?

Natsuki brushes against Yuri’s arm, probably by accident, but it jolts Yuri out of her thoughts and into reality as they exit the store. It’s still raining, still dull outside. The bookstore, at least, had people inside of it. Outside was just a wasteland, of grey, and grey, and grey, and – a dab of pink.

“Hey, Yuri,” Natsuki says, opening her umbrella, “are you gonna read as soon as you get home?”

Yuri’s cheeks flush like she’s been caught doing something awful. Was she that easy to read? Did Natsuki know her that well, already? She can’t tell if the feeling in her chest is fear or thrill.

“I,” Yuri breathes, “was going to, yes.”

She hangs her head, a little dejected.

“Can I come to your house, then? Just for a little while,” Natsuki asks, point-blank. Oh. “I want to see how you react.”

There’s a rising in Yuri’s chest, her heart thumping again, but it feels different and the same at the same time. How terrifying, how _thrilling_.

“I-I thought you didn’t have the rest of the series,” Yuri mumbles, trying to distract for reasons she couldn’t quite understand.

“Don’t have, yes. Did not finish? Well,” Natsuki shrugs, grinning, “It’s a popular story, so I got spoiled for the ending anyway. So?”

She could say no, right now. She could turn around and lie and say her parents wouldn’t be okay with it; that she had something to do afterwards. She could shoot the idea down out of the air with but a word, and they could go their separate ways home and meet again in the literature club. There was no need to let this go any further – she could end this, right here.

She doesn’t.

“Then,” Yuri bites her lip in the process of forming words, “if it’s alright with you, you may come over…”

There’s a grin on Natsuki’s face that Yuri wishes she could capture in her heart forever.

 


End file.
